If you asked me what the word loner meant when I was at school, I would have told you that it was someone with no friends, who was maybe a bit weird and lacked social skills.
As a grown up, I feel like the word loner takes on a whole new meaning.
I think I can be a loner sometimes.
By that, I mean it in the most positive way. I have learned to love and appreciate my own company over the years, and I’ve realised that I shouldn’t be afraid to put myself my first. Being a loner is not about being anti-social or not enjoying being around other people, for me it’s about knowing when to be a little bit selfish for my own inner happiness.
Do you sometimes feel like you create a busy social life for yourself because you don’t want to miss out on events, don’t want to be seen to be not interested and don’t want people to not bother with you anymore?
It’s totally understandable to feel that way, and society defines who we are in that sense, but the fact is, by being a little more of a loner we can discover who we really are and dedicate more time to what we really love to do.
Can I name 5 reasons why being a loner has its benefits? Easily..
– We can spend more time doing the things we love –
Who doesn’t want to do more of what they love? It could be that we’ve been wanting to start a new hobby or get back into the sport we used to play; or perhaps we’ve been meaning to get stuck into that book we bought ages ago or spend more time in the kitchen baking cakes like we used to. There are so many things we often wish we could do ‘if we had more time’, but really it’s just about creating more space in our life.
– We will realise who our true friends are –
If we have friends who poke fun at us when we don’t turn up to a party or because we didn’t meet them for drinks after work because we were genuinely too tired, they’re probably not friends worth having anyway. The friends who appreciate what we are doing and support that we are working on ourselves will make themselves known, and if that’s just a few of them then maybe that’s all we need.
– We are more likely to discover our dreams and ambitions –
If we feel like we haven’t found our passion in life because we’re always so caught up with ‘life’, then it might be time to step back and let our dreams manifest into something beautiful. Everyone has dreams and everyone deserves to live their dreams, so we shouldn’t let ourselves be held back by anyone or anything!
– We can be ourselves, and no one but ourselves –
Do you ever feel like you are only truly yourself when you are alone? Even though we think we are ourselves with our family and partners, I think it’s fair to say that we are the only people that know ourselves and the only people that ever will. As stupid as that may sound, it’s true. I’m sure we all know deep down that we don’t spend enough time working on ourselves, but if we do we are more likely to thrive and become the person we really want to be.
– We can save money –
It might sound a bit odd, but if we spend a lot on socialising in order to ensure we stay popular or to keep busy, then we probably underestimate how much money we could save if we started to say no to those social events that we no longer enjoy. In a way, it’s not a case of saving, it’s more a case of spending our money more wisely and on things that make us happy, rather than spending our money on making others happy.
As Albert Einstein once said:
“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.”